‘’Everything is in, with in’’

Something real fresh to my understanding. Sometimes to express an expression, with in that expression we add million expressions to express a ‘’SINGLE EXPRESSION’’. We do hundred and one things to express love, Concern and caring. At times one warm word is enough to convey our expression.

The most stunning truth is, we construct our surroundings and family life according to our thoughts.  Sometimes it could be ‘’inspiring personalities or an inborn impulse or fantasy or copy of something’’ mostly we do what is inside in our mind that drive us towards or I would say ‘’something with in’’…..very rarely we get carried away.

 I have an expression in mind to express, I pin my personal experience to it .

 ‘’At some point of my life, I tried to end my life. I felt I got betrayed and I have no space to survive. I thought I can’t face this world.  Things were so difficult. Everything I see, I see with the undergone feeling perspective. Everything was absurd’’. Felt like ‘’ I WAS ON EDGE’’ When I see people laughing and smiling I always felt , how can it be possible?

Why can’t I laugh or smile like them? And I always prayed to god…..

’’I WISH I CAN BE LIKE THEM’’. ‘’EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY I FELT MY LIFE GOT WRECKED’’ .I tried to hide myself from many people. But still I could read that people around me know everything, but they don’t like to discuss it with me because they know I will surely get annoyed. Now it is much more painful than ever before because the fear of knowing someone has become a transparent truth………everyone knows

My friends I mean school friends most of them got married some of them are blessed with kids. It was an accident for me we started chatting with each them after very….very…. long time

I was almost burst in tears when I shared about my ‘’BETRAYAL’’. They started comforting me like; we do it with other people.

Out of that general conversation someone stormed a word saying ‘’ IT IS IN YOU, WITH IN YOU’’. ‘’SAGAR ,YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ON YOUR OWN, I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT’’. ‘’ WE CAN ONLY BE YOUR VERBAL AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT INDEED IT IS WITH IN YOU TO COME OUT. IF YOU (SAGAR) WISH’’.

When I was a small boy had a habit of reading comics (book which contains morals and stories). In my childhood I was greatly inspired by a character called ‘’SPIDERMAN’’. He is so good if someone is in trouble he will swoon down from the foreign skies and rescues people. And he disappears. He becomes ‘’A WORD OF THE NATION -TO- NATION’’. His job is to recue people who are in trouble.

Now my sub-conscious started begin to grow with the longing……I WISH SOME ONE CAN SWOON DOWN INTO MY LIFE AND SWEPT ME OFF FROM THIS DEVORING LIFE’’. ‘’ WHICH IS GRADUALLY DEVORING ME TO DEATH’’.

I wish, I could be strong and much stronger , if some can help me. But I found the truth ITS ME WHO NEEDS TO TAKE A START.

Now my subconscious raised a hero within me. My view and thinking has changed. A change gradually changed into Unbelievable change. After very bad long turmoil things got to an end. The storm which has hit me disappeared with no trace. Now I am a happy man. Oh….I forgot to introduce someone special….apologize me .my wife. She was always out there to support me (unconditional). Her extreme support I can never forget.

 Whatever had happened had not happened. It could never be me………

it was nice battle to fight.

Today I give all my credits to wife and my good friends around me. Who has ignited the ‘’MISSING SPARK’’

SO EVERYTHING IS IN, WITH IN………………………DON’T GIVE UP

::::::::::::::::::: KALA SAGAR ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

NOTE:  BY THE WAY I AM MUCH HAPPY, HAPPIER THAN       

               EVERBEFORE………THANK YOU GOD…