‘’Everything is in, with in’’

Something real fresh to my understanding. Sometimes to express an expression, with in that expression we add million expressions to express a ‘’SINGLE EXPRESSION’’. We do hundred and one things to express love, Concern and caring. At times one warm word is enough to convey our expression.

The most stunning truth is, we construct our surroundings and family life according to our thoughts.  Sometimes it could be ‘’inspiring personalities or an inborn impulse or fantasy or copy of something’’ mostly we do what is inside in our mind that drive us towards or I would say ‘’something with in’’…..very rarely we get carried away.

 I have an expression in mind to express, I pin my personal experience to it .

 ‘’At some point of my life, I tried to end my life. I felt I got betrayed and I have no space to survive. I thought I can’t face this world.  Things were so difficult. Everything I see, I see with the undergone feeling perspective. Everything was absurd’’. Felt like ‘’ I WAS ON EDGE’’ When I see people laughing and smiling I always felt , how can it be possible?

Why can’t I laugh or smile like them? And I always prayed to god…..

’’I WISH I CAN BE LIKE THEM’’. ‘’EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY I FELT MY LIFE GOT WRECKED’’ .I tried to hide myself from many people. But still I could read that people around me know everything, but they don’t like to discuss it with me because they know I will surely get annoyed. Now it is much more painful than ever before because the fear of knowing someone has become a transparent truth………everyone knows

My friends I mean school friends most of them got married some of them are blessed with kids. It was an accident for me we started chatting with each them after very….very…. long time

I was almost burst in tears when I shared about my ‘’BETRAYAL’’. They started comforting me like; we do it with other people.

Out of that general conversation someone stormed a word saying ‘’ IT IS IN YOU, WITH IN YOU’’. ‘’SAGAR ,YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ON YOUR OWN, I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT’’. ‘’ WE CAN ONLY BE YOUR VERBAL AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT INDEED IT IS WITH IN YOU TO COME OUT. IF YOU (SAGAR) WISH’’.

When I was a small boy had a habit of reading comics (book which contains morals and stories). In my childhood I was greatly inspired by a character called ‘’SPIDERMAN’’. He is so good if someone is in trouble he will swoon down from the foreign skies and rescues people. And he disappears. He becomes ‘’A WORD OF THE NATION -TO- NATION’’. His job is to recue people who are in trouble.

Now my sub-conscious started begin to grow with the longing……I WISH SOME ONE CAN SWOON DOWN INTO MY LIFE AND SWEPT ME OFF FROM THIS DEVORING LIFE’’. ‘’ WHICH IS GRADUALLY DEVORING ME TO DEATH’’.

I wish, I could be strong and much stronger , if some can help me. But I found the truth ITS ME WHO NEEDS TO TAKE A START.

Now my subconscious raised a hero within me. My view and thinking has changed. A change gradually changed into Unbelievable change. After very bad long turmoil things got to an end. The storm which has hit me disappeared with no trace. Now I am a happy man. Oh….I forgot to introduce someone special….apologize me .my wife. She was always out there to support me (unconditional). Her extreme support I can never forget.

 Whatever had happened had not happened. It could never be me………

it was nice battle to fight.

Today I give all my credits to wife and my good friends around me. Who has ignited the ‘’MISSING SPARK’’

SO EVERYTHING IS IN, WITH IN………………………DON’T GIVE UP

::::::::::::::::::: KALA SAGAR ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

NOTE:  BY THE WAY I AM MUCH HAPPY, HAPPIER THAN       

               EVERBEFORE………THANK YOU GOD…

                          Unasked crime

Nature has unbelievable truths to understand .out of million truths I would like to quote one which we were taught in our schooling. It is ‘SURVIVAL’. We practically see and felt this amazing truth in many ways like ‘animal watch’ I mean on television channels like ‘NATIONAL GEOGRAPHY’’ OR ’ANIMAL PLANET’ that a wild animal pounce on the other animal mostly weak which can’t retaliate and it kills the other animal. Precise fact animals hunt only when they are hungry. No doubt it is nature and part of the nature, sad but what we can't do anything that’s how ‘’ A CREATOR CREATED IT’’

In fact we humans by nature didn’t know all this but the ‘’so called necessity has taught us hunting and being selfish’’ to the great extent HUMANS learned a lot from animals. When god created nature they were the only co-mates or companions or friends. Whatever you name them.

In this process of learning and when procession was complete human turned out into more professional hunters. We know how to hunt down EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, SYSTEMATICALLY AND PHYSICALLY. I sometimes wonder why most dreaded and wild animals in zoo go scared when we visit. In fact they try to retaliate because they might knowing the most cruelest creature is in front of them, who hunt even though he is not hungry.

After decades of transformation now we learned to ‘’ATTACK PARENT’S’’ above all we are intelligent hunters we let someone on our behalf to do it. So smart.

OUR PARENTS STRUGGLED so HARD TO FULFILL OUR NEEDS TILL WE GET MARRIED, SETTLED AND IN SECURING US (so futuristic, loving and caring).

TODAY THEY ARE WEAK.WE ABONDON THEM.WE DON’T CARE THEM.

 If nature runs on a CYCLE PROCESS .just imagine…..

SOMEDAY YOU & I WILL BE SUBJECTED TO THE SAME …..SOMEDAY….SOMEHOW…CERTAINLY (might be a lesson to repent for the rest and till death asking for repentance)

LET ME ASK A QUESTION.

WHAT WE DO WITH OUR PARENTS IS IT A PART OF THE SYSTEM OR NATURE…..?

IGNORING SOMEONE WHO is WEAK, BY GIVING ALL YOU NEED JUST TO make you a strong person today.

REMINDER: ARE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN SOME ZOO? LABELLED AS THE MOST DREADED THAN ANY ANIMAL?

::::::::::::: KALA SAGAR:::::::::::::::::::::::

We are no more humans, because realization makes human

Strike balance

(Wife-Mother)

Wife?

‘’ this is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh

She shall be called ‘women’

For she was taken out of me

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

What do you find when you find a wife?          

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor (in Telugu melu) from the LORD.

And no doubt as God says “she is a suitable helper to bring the family together’’.

Good wife…

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies

So god blessed us with a wife above qualities….so you and me we are all lucky to have

God’s blessings.

Mother

 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—  “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

Listenn to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when

She is old

Do you know the end consequences if you over look your mother at old age…

 A man who remains stiff necked after many rebukes

Will suddenly be destroyed – without remedy

Note: it is our self inefficiency being a man we are not able to strike the balance.

           The bible say’s good or bad for we all need to give account……

          Someday we all need to give an account.

      Why we forsaken our father and mother

          

::::::::::::::::::::::::::kala sagar ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Note : lines in brown color are from Bible

WHO YOU ARE?

WHY ARE YOU ‘’A LIVING DEAD’’?

 WHAT IF IT HAPPENS TO ‘’YOU SOME DAY’’?

WHY ARE ‘’YOU DOING THIS’’?

CAN’T YOU BE ‘’SIMPLE’’ AND ‘’HONEST’’…………

The reason I am being inspired………is just   REALITY!!!!!!!

I  often  look  at ME and  MYSELF to know  the difference and measure myself ……’’WHO AM I’’.TRUST ME I just PAID – BACK for my deeds. And it is real TOUGH to PAY-BACK……I MEAN IT. 

                                                                              This realization has made me to UNDERSTAND the REALITY and‘’metamorphosis’’.

BORN in a simple family, NOT WORTH to be anything…BUT  GOD has given me an OPPORTUNITY To travel abroad and get my EDUCATION DONE…

WHEN I WAS A BOY….i always felt that when I grow big,I would help people who get SUPRESSED and GET DENIED in what they DESERVE…

NOW I AM A SELFISH MAN…I don’t care anything. Whatever may HAPPEN…….

   

LOOK INTO THIS CHANGE CONNECTION AND CHRONICLES….. I was a ‘’SMALL BOY WITH BEAUTIFULL THOUGHT’’….

God liked that honesty and gave me a chance A COUNTRY BOY TO BE IN ABROAD …..SO THAT I CAN DO SOMETHING GOOD...

When my DAD was PARALYSED PERSON…I said to GOD  I will be out there at the least to assist when I come across any paralyzed  person….…IN RETURN….i asked GOD SPEEDY RECOVERY FOR MY DAD….INDEED  god liked for being GOOD  and HE granted my DAD SPEED RECOVERY…..WHAT DO I DO TODAY?...i come across so many paralyzed people at TRAFFICE SIGNALS and I OVERLOOK and BACKDOWN in helping  5 rupees ….and I give them’ DON’T CARE A DAMN ATTITUDE ‘’…….TODAY  I love myself so much….i spend my money on CIGRETTES,MOVIES,FUN-TRIPS AND ELECTRONIC GADGETS…..i share my cigarette . INDIRECTLY,I can spend half the amount for NO-USE.

On my 10^th class EXAMS my MOTHER was ALWAYS OUT THERE…because SHE KNEW this is a ‘’TURNING POINT’’ in my LIFE….SHE has been PRAYING all through the year about my GREAT PERCENTAGE….

TODAY I overlook MY MOTHER and i don’t care….

And I promised her in many ways that when I grow big I WILL PUT AN END TO ALL HER SUFFERINGS….TODAY…..I BETRAYED HER…..and  ….EXPLOITED HER FAITH…and broke her TRUST   INTO  1000 CONFUSIONS…

ANYONE would ever think of HAVING A SON LIKE ME? Kindly tell me is there any religion asked us to practice these things...NO WAY….I GUESS NO ONE…

SO WHO AM I?

What if GOD had overlooked when I poured my ‘’WISH LIST’’

WHAT AND WHERE I WOULD BE TODAY? DO YOU THINK ANY MOTHER  WOULD EVER LIKE TO GIVE

A BIRTH TO SOME ONE LIKE……..’’ME’

JUST   IMAGINE WHAT IF GOD TAKES BACK ALL YOU HAVE TONIGHT? WHERE YOU WOULD BE TOMORROW?

TELL ME WHAT YOU NAME ME…….BETRYAL….CROOK….CHEAT….DIS-HONEST…

JUST IMAGINE, WHAT IF IT REPEATS IT WITH YOU????

NOW TELL ME ‘’ WHO YOU ARE?’’ WHAT SHOULD I CALL YOU?

HOW LONG YOU CAN HIDE? HOW FAR YOU CAN PRETEND….

NOTE: I DON’T MEAN TO HUMILIATE ANYONE….IT’S JUST A REMINDER TO CORRECT OURSELF…THER IS ALWAYS A LAST CHANCE…..IF YOU WISH?????

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::KALA SAGAR BODDU:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mother .......no one can replace..... 

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A ‘’SEED THAT SWALLOWED THE TREE’’

                                                      HAVE YOU?

YOU WOULD BE EAGER TO KNOW WHERE THIS WONDERFUL ‘’SEED’’ IS? AND FROM?

IT IS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US……

I AM A SEED, A MOTHER WHO CARRIED ME IN HER WOMB…. FOR 9 MONTHS…..I AM A ‘’SEED’’ WHO SUCKED HER GREAT ENERGY TO BRING ME INTO THIS WORLD…

I AM A SEED, I AM ONLY A ‘’BETREYAL’’

                                           

MY MOTHER……

……………SHE LIVES IN THE SAME OLD HOUSE  , WHICH WAS BUILT FOR MY COMFORT(A HOUSE WHICH WILL BECOME MY PROPERTY AFTER HER DEATH)……

……..SHE LIVES IN A HOUSE WHICH HAS LOT OF MOSQUITOS SHE OFTEN BECOMES A PREY TO

 DISEASES CAUSED BY ‘’MOSQUITO’S’’

……SHE DRINKS POT WATER……

…….SHE CAN’T EFFORD TO TRAVEL IN LOCAL AUTO (WHICH IS LITTLE EXPENSIVE THAN A ‘’PUBLIC TRANSPORT’’

…….SHE HAS A PAIR OF ‘CHAPPALS’’ WHICH ARE HALF-WORN OUT…..

…….SHE HAS A TABLE FAN, WHICH MY FATHER BOUGHT WHEN I WAS A KID DURING SUMMER.(IT STILL RUNNING IN CONDITION,IT IS SERVING THE PURPOSE FAITHFULLY THAN ANY HUMANS)EVEN THOUGH IT UNDERWENT MANY REPAIRS ….…..

……..POWER CUT IS A COMMONEST ISSUE IN HER LIFE….

NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN HER LIFE SINCE I WAS BORN.THINGS ONLY GOT WORSE BECAUSE SHE HAD TO SACRIFICE EVRYTHING TO RAISE ME…

(SHE HAS NO THOUGHT OF SAVING ANYTHING FOR HERSELF’’)

BUT…………TODAY

NOW I AM A GROWN UP ‘’SEED’’ I LIVE IN A BIG AND ZERO BACTERIA HOUSE,I HAVE AIRCONDITION IN MY BED-ROOM,I TRAVEL IN AIR CONDITIONED CAR,I ALWAYS DRINK MINERERAL WATER,I USE LIQUID SOAP,I WATCH  LED TV…..I HAVE INVERTER FOR POWER BACK-UP…..WHAT NOT I HAVE ALL THE  COMFORTS

LOOK AT THE WAY I SWALLOWED….MY MOTHER’S LIFE

NOTE: WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO YOUR NATIVE PLACE….I WONDER HOW CAN SOMEONE LIVE IN ‘’SUCH POOR CONDITIONS’’, EVEN MY KIDS HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT TO VIST THE PLACE…..

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::KALA SAGAR:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

WAKE UP…..START DOING…………BEFORE, GOD BLEWS YOUR LIFE….